In the Long Run

For those of you who weren’t aware of it, Wal-Mart is very concerned about women and their health. To prove it, they hosted a Women’s Health Awareness Day last Saturday at our local store. They gave away free samples of various products, with the full-sized versions conveniently and prominently displayed nearby, obviously for our shopping convenience, because of course, they are not first and foremost interested in their bottom line, but in ours…or uh, make that, our health.

I was there to hand out flyers and answer questions on YMCA programs that promote women’s health. I had been given only a few instructions; I knew that my contact person’s name was Jan, and that I didn’t have to stay the entire six hours of the event.

When I arrived, no one seemed to be in charge, and the only Jan there was an equally uninformed volunteer from the community college who was assembling an informational table also. The in-store vision clinic set me up with a card table, chair and a plastic tablecloth next to Jan, the college lady. The Wal-Mart sample distributors gave me a large yellow poster for people to sign as they stopped at my table.

It seemed to be some sort of unspoken competition to see who could gather the most signatures on her poster. Signatures could only be obtained if someone stopped at the table. And people weren’t stopping at mine.

Maybe the reason was because every table but mine offered free samples. Wal-Mart employees were passing out samples of wrinkle-reducing face cream, hand lotion, pain reliever, shampoo, conditioner, and even energy bars. What more could you ask for if you were a woman interested in good health?? And Jan, the college lady, was handing out pens, toothpaste, stress balls, and flip-top calculators right next to me. My shabby fare consisted of flyers describing Y classes and schedules. At least they are on colored paper, I lamely noted.

I soon began trying to garner signatures with the lure of a “free class”. I handed people a (free) flyer about a wonderful, (and truly free) class that we offer at the Y for people who are trying to get back into an exercise routine. I had a few takers, but my yellow poster still lacked a respectable number of signatures.

Then the Wal-Mart lady from the Garnier sample table came over. “Can one of you ladies take over my display while I go on break? One of you can handle both your tables, can’t you?” Jan, as nice as she was, did not volunteer. Who was I to deny Gloria her break?

I guess I could have sabotaged Gloria while I handed out samples at her table. But instead, I helped fill up her poster while mine languished in obscurity with the paltry signatures I had acquired earlier. I don’t think anyone signed my poster while I was away. And when I returned to my place after Gloria’s break, I saw that people stopping at Jan’s table next door were being encouraged to “write small, because we’re almost full.”

Three hours later, I decided I’d had enough table tending. Regrettably, there had been few people who showed interest in my YMCA programs. I had the least number of people sign my poster. And I got a paper cut while handling my flyers. I packed up, and turned in my signature poster to one of the Wal-Mart employees. He accepted it with a pitying smile, and folded it up with the signatures out of sight.

I took one of Gloria’s pain reliever samples and one of Jan's stress balls, and went home. At least I have my health. And since I've got that, I don't really need to worry about signature posters.

Posted by Cyppy at 3:34 PM